Mid-day on Friday I received some of the most shocking and saddening news I’ve received in a long time.  I found out that one of the professors from my PhD program, who has become very close over the past two years, died unexpectedly the day prior.  I had just had class with him the weekend before and have been diligently working to complete all of my assignments for his class.  It was absolutely out of the blue and I’m still in a mild state of shock.

As I’ve reflected on just what an amazing human he was and how thankful I am to have met him and been able to learn from him these last two years, I’ve really thought a lot about the way that things can change so suddenly for anyone at any time.

Life is short and it can be extremely challenging at times.  However, my professor’s sudden passing is a stark reminder that there is nothing promised to us.  We have to make the most of every moment and cherish every second.  There are a lot of things in life that can distract us from doing that, it’s important to remember that we can only control so much in this world.  

If this past year has taught us anything it should be that we can only control the controllables.  There are going to be things that are out of our control, things as big as a pandemic and as small as the internet going out in the middle of binge-watching a show on Netflix.  We have to take a step back and not allow these things to cause stress or be distractions in our life, or to our pursuit of a life well-lived.  

Instinctively, I want to dwell on the loss of my professor.  He was truly one of the best educators I’ve had the pleasure of working with in my life, both as a student and as a professional.  His loss is terrible for many people and he will be fondly remembered by all who knew him.  However, while I can hold his memory dear, I have no way to change what has happened.  I can, however, control how I respond.  I will kiss Clayton and my wife an extra time before I leave the house, I will coordinate with my cohort to honor him in a way that is appropriate, and I will continue to infuse humor into my work and my life as my professor would’ve wanted (he researched and wrote frequently about the power of humor).   

There are a lot of things in our lives that we can control, we should focus on those.  When we face a situation that is out of our control we shouldn’t dwell on the situation but rather on how we respond to it.   We can’t control events but we can control our response to those events.

I’m trying to follow my own advice.  I’m refocusing my energies on family and friends.  I’ve revisited my personal and professional goals and aligned them such that I don’t have to sacrifice one for the other.  I won’t dwell on the passing of my professor but rather I’ll allow the memories and lessons he provided me to be the inspiration for my future achievements.  

What can you control?  Focus your energy there and appreciate every moment for its greatness!

Please click here to learn more about Dr. Peter Jonas.

Every year around this time I write about my belief that it is the perfect time of year to try some new strategies, tools, or classroom arrangements.  You can test them for a short while and see what you want to use for the start of next school year.  Spring is a wonderful testing ground for new ideas because you know your students, your systems are up and running, and taking a risk is a little easier.  While I’d still encourage you to try some new things, I realize that this year is unlike any other in that you probably (hopefully!) won’t be put in the same context again in the future.  

That being said, Spring is still a great time to reflect on what has worked and what hasn’t.  This year, it’s a great chance to think about what you can take from this crazy time and how you can apply it in the future.  While things have been very challenging and have forced us to operate in a completely different way than we’re used to, this year has also forced us to learn new skills and think outside the box for a lot of what we do with kids.  So, instead of trying more new things this Spring, I’d like to encourage you to think about what new things you’ve done this year that you could continue using in the future (either in their current form or in an altered form).  

I recently read an article from The Chronicle of Higher Education that shares some of the “pandemic-driven innovations” that educators plan to continue using in the future.  It’s an interesting read and shares details and stories about how teachers and professors plan to use some of the tools they’ve been forced to adopt in the pandemic once we return to our new normal.  Despite being an article geared toward higher education, some of the ideas will certainly translate well to our context.  Ideas like, taking time to make connections, offering online tutoring or student support services, online guest speakers, and flexibility with due dates and grading, are all things discussed in detail in this article.

When you think about the “pandemic-driven innovations” that you’ve been forced to use/develop over the last year, what sticks out as something you’d like to continue using in the future?  I’d love to hear your thoughts about this and will ask specifically for your feedback in the future.  Please take some time to not only think about this but begin (continue) having this conversation with your team.

I’ve been a collector of quotes for a long time and a few of my friends share good ones with me because they know I appreciate them.  Over the holiday a friend shared a quote with me that really hit home and has been on my mind for the last few days so I thought I’d share it with you.  The quote comes from a book called Unbound by Steph Jagger. It is a memoir that I’ve yet to read but if this quote is any hint as to her writing then I’m pretty sure I’m going to enjoy the book too.

“Strength isn’t necessarily defined as our ability to get up when we’re knocked down. Nor is resilience found in our ability to continue getting up – over and over again.  That’s just sheer willpower; that’s called being stubborn as ****.  True resilience is different. True resilience is found in our ability to get up, to create space for a message we may not want to hear, to listen like we’ve never listened before, and then act on that message – even if that means changing the way we’ve been hurtling down our path in life for decades.”

The part of this quote that speaks to me the most is Jagger’s definition of true resilience.  The idea of creating space for a message we may not want to hear is very challenging for most people but it can be truly transformative when we do it.  Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough to hearing something that may be tough to swallow takes confidence and courage.  To be truly resilient we need to not only get back up, but we have to be willing to hear feedback about what caused us to be knocked down in the first place.    

Similarly, the act of listening is challenging to many people as well.  It is not a natural skill for most people and it is something that takes practice, conscious practice.  We should all aim to, as Jagger puts it, “listen like we’ve never listened before” on a regular basis.  I don’t think that what she’s suggesting is something that you can do constantly, it is something that takes an extra, conscious effort.  Listening is a skill to practice and continue improving through time, without that skill you can never complete the process of becoming truly resilient.

The final piece of Jagger’s definition can’t be achieved without the first two pieces, being open to feedback and being able to listen well enough to hear it.  Jagger’s definition of true resilience concludes with being able to act on the message you received in the first two steps.  That action, however, may not be very easy.  She acknowledges this in the final part of that quote; sometimes the things we need to change are things that are very deeply rooted in who we are…change on that level is darn near impossible for most people.

Regardless of how difficult change may be for anyone, if they’re open to hearing challenging feedback and if they can truly listen like they’ve never listened before, then I believe that anyone  has it in them to pursue the necessary changes they may identify within themself after completing those first two steps.  

You’re all strong.  You all have a tremendous amount of willpower and the ability to continue to get back up.  Are you already or what would it take for you to be, as Steph Jagger defines it, truly resilient?